Matt's True Confessions on International Dance Day


"Don't it make you wanna SHOUT!"

It's International Dance Day and it's time once again for the cold hard truth. I can't dance. That could be why that song from Genesis "I Can't Dance" is one of my favorites. You see, in my head I'm dancing like nobody's watching. In reality I can sort of keep the beat and my feet don't move very much at all. Dancing is not in my skill set. I think back to Junior High when "Poppin' and Lockin'" was popular and a lifetime of American Bandstand Saturday's wasn't going to help me do that right.

There's my disco phase, complete with silk shirts and platform heals. God bless my friend Fran who tried to teach me (and my friend Sandy) some disco dance moves. Sandy did well but I had the gracefulness of a baby goat. I did ok on the line dances but I struggled with couples dancing. No fault of Fran's. What's worse I went once or twice to "The Big Apple" in Cuyahoga Falls on Teen Dance Night and pretty much just sat and watched.

Jumping ahead "two times" and many years to when my friends Rick & Cathy gave Kelly and I a Two-step lesson. I've retained a little of that but you don't dare take me to a honky-tonk. You've probably seen dancers moving in a large circle around the dance floor. I'd be the guy holding up the works and messing up the flow for every one. Same goes for country line dances. I'm useless.

Throughout most of my life I dreamed of dancing in a group like The Temptations, The Four Tops, later The Jackson 5 or The Osmond Brothers. Then came New Kids On The Block, NSync, and Backstreet Boys. Now-a-days I'm fascinated by those boys in BTS. Wow! In another lifetime, right?

In my arsenal I have "The Electric Slide", "Cupid Shuffle" and "Cha Cha Slide". I can fake my way through those. At our wedding Kelly and I did a little swing style dance to "It Had To Be You" and we'll slow dance now and again but that's it. I am much better at spinning the tunes so other people can dance in the privacy of their own homes, patios, even their cars. Thus the job as a radio announcer and disc jockey. So, let me throw on "Right or Wrong" by George Strait or maybe keep it simple with one everybody knows "The Hokey Pokey"! Now which foot do I "put in"?


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